Update in Progress

No, not necessarily here. Actually, I'm just sittin' around waiting for my XBox to download an update, so I figured I'd take a moment to check in with (O)PP's readers - our beloved AustenBots and DeceptiJanes - to give you a heads up on what's going on in our world.

Well, nothing.  That's what's going on at (O)PP.

How've you been?  Would you like to see a video? I hope you answered yes!

That's the best cartoon ever right there.  Warner Archive is releasing it on DVD tomorrow, and I have a feeling it'll be making its way to Mikeland some time around my birthday. Yeah, I roll with T and his army of gymnasts. I regret nothing.

In other news, here's a song:

Because Stallone is the cure to all that ails you. It's science.

BTW, if you want to see the (O)PP crew's favorite YouTube video so far this year, check out this (profanity laden) bit of ridiculousness:

Which is made even better by this interview with the real Green Bay Packer/Super Bowl Champion Greg Jennings:

 

That's all I got.  Be super, you wonderful fellows and fellowettes!

The (O)PP Cinematic Alphabet Draft

Hey everybody, The Mike is here to deliver some cinematic thunder on this Sunday of Justice!

A recent craze throughout the film related blogosphere is the Cinematic Alphabet, made currently popular over at Rupert Pupkin Speaks and spreading throughout the web to sites like my own From Midnight, With Love. Here at (O)PP, we find that the tastes of myself, Narcosleepy, and The H-Bomb don't always match up, so we decided to do our site's Cinematic Alphabet a little differently. As you can guess from the title, we did a fantasy sports-style draft of films per letter.

The rules were pretty simple. The draft order would be randomly determined, and the three of us would take turns picking a letter and the corresponding film we wanted on the list. Oh, and we decided (about half-way through the draft) to add in films that start with a number, so the picks were evenly divided between us. Easy enough, right? Let's see how it turned out....

With the 1st pick in the draft, The Mike determined that R is for REAR WINDOW

As we discussed this project, the example I kept using was "So like, if I had R, I'd say R is for REAR WINDOW." Since I used the example like three dozen times - and since it's my favorite movie - I figured there was no better place to start. - The Mike

With the 2nd pick in the draft, Narcosleepy decreed that T is for TRANSFORMERS: THE MOVIE

There are certain movies that pretty much change the world. For Narcosleepy, Optimus Prime is synonymous with all that is awesome. To say that the letter "T" is for Transformers is pretty much like saying a dog has four legs and barks. "R" is definitely for Rear Window, but Optimus Prime punches Deceptichops in the face.
-Narcosleepy

With the 3rd pick in the draft, The H-Bomb decided that P is for PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

To say I love this movie is an understatement. To me, Pride and Prejudice is the greatest love story of all time. The casting in this version is perfect and I never get sick of watching it.- The H-Bomb

(Note from The Mike: Gosh, from those last two picks, you'd so never guess where we got our blog name....)

With the 4th pick in the draft, The Mike said H is for HALLOWEEN

I know Narcosleepy is a big fan of Highlander, and - as much as I agree that there can be only one - I couldn't risk not getting my favorite horror movie on the list. - The Mike

First of..."H" should be for Highlander. However, Halloween is a really solid choice and I can't disagree. I mean, how can you argue with Michael Myers? -Narcosleepy

With the 5th pick in the draft, Narcosleepy announced that C is for CITY OF GOD

I flat out love this movie. The flavor, the feel, and the rhythm are so fantastic. I was going to choose "A" for American Beauty. But on this night, I took City of God above American Beauty.
-Narcosleepy

With the 6th pick in the draft, The H-Bomb proclaimed that L is for LOVE ACTUALLY

Barely slipping ahead of Pride and Prejudice, I consider this my favorite movie of all time. Romance, comedy, British, and Hugh Grant dancing make for the perfect combination for a perfect movie!
- The H-Bomb

With the 7th pick in the draft, The Mike decided that A is for ARSENIC AND OLD LACE

The three of us actually watched this flick right after completing the draft. I'm not sure Narcosleepy and The H-Bomb were ready for its brand of humor, but I drink it up like Daniel Day-Lewis on your milkshake. (Which, coincidentally, does NOT bring all the boys to the yard. Just DDL and that kid who was the killer at the beginning of TAKING LIVES.) - The Mike

With the 8th pick in the draft, Narcosleepy decided that V is for VERTIGO

There are certain movies that hold a special place in my heart. Rear Window and Vertigo are two of these films. James Stewart and Kim Novak provide a performance that defines modern cinema. This is a top 10 film...no brainer.
- Narcosleepy

With the 9th pick in the draft, The H-Bomb decided that S is for SABRINA

Knowing the other two where going to pick S soon if I did not, I dove after it. There were lots of S movies I could have picked (Spaceballs anyone!?), but I knew in my heart Sabrina was it. Hepburn and Boggart can do no wrong. Despite their big age difference, they really worked on screen. - The H-Bomb

With the 10th pick in the draft, The Mike decided that B is for THE BLUES BROTHERS

As much as it pains me to leave The 'Burbs on the wayside - and I know H-Bomb would have picked it had I let B ride a few more rounds - Jake and Elwood know the way to my heart. I'm so in on their mission from God. - The Mike

With the 11th pick in the draft, Narcosleepy decided that N is for NORTH BY NORTHWEST

How can you not love the first ever action film? The cinematography in this film is truly amazing.
-Narcosleepy

With the 12th pick in the draft, The H-Bomb decided that G is for THE GOONIES

In my opinion, this is one of the greatest films of all time. This movie was a large part of my childhood. During the summer of 1999 during a family vacation to Oregon, we included a stop in Astoria, Oregon where the movie was filmed. There is no way I was going to let this list get created without Goonies on it! -The H-Bomb

Couldn't agree more H-Bomb! It all ends when you go up Troy's Bucket! -Narcosleepy

With the 13th pick in the draft, The Mike decided that E is for THE EXORCIST

Since I had The Exorcist at #2 on my big board of horror - and since I am primarily one who writes about horror flicks - I figured I better throw it on as soon as I could. Nothing like a little pea soup in the middle of the alphabet, right? - The Mike

With the 14th pick in the draft, Narcosleepy decided that # is for 28 DAYS LATER...

First off, suck it H-Bomb. 13 Going on 30 could not be the number that was selected. I straight up love this movie. This is one of my favorite zombie movies that I have ever seen in theaters.
- Narcosleepy

With the 15th pick in the draft, The H-Bomb decided that D is for DEATH AT A FUNERAL

It is British, hilarious, and stars Matthew MacFayden (aka Mr. Darcy). Need I say more! -The H-Bomb

With the 16th pick in the draft, The Mike decided that F is for FLASH GORDON

No chance I was gonna let this list end without getting one of my favorite pieces of cheese on the list, and Flash Gordon represents everything I love about cheesy sci-fi of the '70s and '80s. (Also, he's gotta be the best quarterback the New York Jets ever had. EVER.) - The Mike

Best selection for "F" I could think of. "Flash Gordon. Quarterback. New York Jets." -Narcosleepy

With the 17th pick in the draft, Narcosleepy decided that M is for THE MATRIX

"Follow the white rabbit Neo." I remember where I was when I first saw this movie. I can remember the first time I listened to it with 5.1 Dolby Digital surround sound. This movie is one of my all time favorite sci-fi flicks. I was going to choose Mulholland Drive, but I couldn't escape the brilliant acting of Keanu Reeves. "Whoa"
-Narcosleepy

With the 18th pick in the draft, The H-Bomb decided that W is for THE WIZARD OF OZ

A movie list should never be complete without this film. Visually stunning and a marvelous soundtrack, it is a movie for all ages. It is a movie I need to see at least once a year or I go through withdrawal. -The H-Bomb

With the 19th pick in the draft, The Mike decided that Y is for YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN

If this were something like the NFL Draft, there'd be a guy with greasy hair to tell you that this is a great "value pick". I had been prepared to take M and promote MIDNIGHT RUN, but after it was off the board I couldn't resist getting one of my five favorite films this late in the proceedings. - The Mike

With the 20th pick in the draft, Narcosleepy decided that J is for THE JEWEL OF THE NILE

Romancing the Stone is simply awesome. However, I actually saw this movie first and I have a soft spot in my random liking of movies. It isn't very good, but man I love dumb movies that are just fun. Juno Schmoono...I thought that movie was forgettable. Journey to the Center of the Earth in '89 was also going through my head, but you gotta draft what you love.
- Narcosleepy

With the 21st pick in the draft, The H-Bomb decided that Q is for THE QUEEN

Another British film that definitely did not disappoint, it was fascinating to have a look inside the life of Queen Elizabeth. The acting in this film was so superb, I often found myself forgetting this was Helen Mirren, and would actually find myself believing it was Queen Elizabeth herself. - The H-Bomb

Weird...H-Bomb selecting something British. - Narcosleepy

With the 22nd pick in the draft, The Mike decided that O is for OUT OF SIGHT

The combination of Clooney, Soderbergh, Elmore Leonard, a great supporting cast, and a SHOCKINGLY good J-Lo has long held Out of Sight as one of my favorite caper flicks/romance flicks. At this point in the draft, I also kinda thought I should pick something less than 30 years old. - The Mike

With the 23rd pick in the draft, Narcosleepy decided that I is for IDIOCRACY

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! How can you hate on a movie where, in the end, you feel like a genius? Dax Shepard is awesome. I know, you all are thinking why didn't I select Indiana Jones? I think the above picture answers that question.
- Narcosleepy

With the 24th pick in the draft, The H-Bomb decided that U is for UP IN THE AIR

With a great cast, including Mr. Clooney himself, it was a witty and charming film. With so many unoriginal films these days, it was refreshing to see some originality. -The H-Bomb

With the 25th pick in the draft, The Mike decided that Z is for ZODIAC

It was a toss-up between this and using K on KISS KISS, BANG BANG for my final pick, but David Fincher's murder epic is kind of like Vertigo in how it keeps me entranced despite its slow pace. And I still get a dose of Downey. - The Mike

With the 26th pick in the draft, Narcosleepy decided that X is for XXX

"Hi, my name is Vin Diesel. I'm awesome." If you just read that quote...your mind is blown. This movie has A) Samuel Freaking L. Jackson, B) Flippin' Danny Trejo, and C) Vin Diesel as an extreme sports athlete. I consider this pick a value pick...that and I couldn't think of anything else for X.
- Narcosleepy

With the 27th pick in the draft, The H-Bomb decided that K is for THE KING'S SPEECH

So I have to admit I have not actually seen this flick yet! But it is British and stars Colin Firth. I don't even have to see it to know I like. And don't worry, I will be buying it when it hits the shelves! - The H-Bomb

So, after the dust settled and tempers faded, the final list looks like THIS:
A is for ARSENIC AND OLD LACE
B is for THE BLUES BROTHERS
C is for CITY OF GOD
D is for DEATH AT A FUNERAL
E is for THE EXORCIST
F is for FLASH GORDON
G is for THE GOONIES
H is for HALLOWEEN
I is for IDIOCRACY
J is for THE JEWEL OF THE NILE
K is for THE KING'S SPEECH
L is for LOVE ACTUALLY
M is for THE MATRIX
N is for NORTH BY NORTHWEST
O is for OUT OF SIGHT
P is for PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
Q is for THE QUEEN
R is for REAR WINDOW
S is for SABRINA
T is for TRANSFORMERS: THE MOVIE
U is for UP IN THE AIR
V is for VERTIGO
W is for THE WIZARD OF OZ
X is for XXX
Y is for YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN
Z is for ZODIAC
# is for 28 DAYS LATER...

And that's the bottom line, because the (O)PP staff said so. Consider your minds' blown...Boom!

The Governator

Oh how this makes me laugh!  Now that Arnold Schwarzenegger is officially not in office anymore, he has decided his next career move is to create a cartoon and comic book!  Created with Stan Lee, there will be many personal elements of Arnold's life including his wife and children.  It will follow him as he leaves office and decides to become a crime fighter and build a secret high-tech crime-fighting lab in his basement.  What are your thoughts!?  Super excited?!?

Trailer Alert-New Hangover II Trailer!

Jennifer Garner as Miss Marple and The Mike's Mind is BLOWN

The title about says it all, but I have to reiterate how....weird, to start, this news is.  Total Film reported this morning that Jennifer Garner, the 38 going on 30 year old actress of Alias, Daredevil, and Juno fame will play Agatha Christie's famed Miss Marple in a new film adaptation by Disney. 

That might sound all well and good to some.  Except that Miss Marple is generally expected to look like THIS:

Now, I'm not gonna say Ms. Garner isn't a fetching sort of gal, and I'm not gonna say I own a copy of 13 Going on 30 due to her charms (that would be ridiculous, if it weren't true).  But I've held a fond affection for A) Christie mysteries and B) the series of Marple films that starred Margaret Rutherford for some time, and I don't see how this makes sense.

I know Disney wants to adapt the stories for a "younger audience", but it's not like little kids don't like old people.  Why wouldn't you cast a Judi Dench or a Helen Mirren or a Stephen Fry in drag?  It's not Miss Marple if it's Jennifer Garner, is it?

I don't know, but I'm throwing my fat bottom at the next James Dean biopic they make.  This gives even the worst casting ideas hope.  Just picture this as Jennifer Garner, then get back to me.

(BTW, that theme music rocks.)

Rebecca Black's Friday: Is it our downfall or our salvation?

I'm a dude.  I aspire to reek of beef and cheese, and occasionally get the unnecessary urge to kill something.  So, it's with much confusion that I present to you the newest cyber craze to hit us all....someone called Rebecca Black singing something called Friday.  You've been warned.

Reactions to this song, which has been played at least 26 million times on You Tube (LITERALLY), have ranged from "Worst. Song. Ever." to "Why is she getting up to catch the bus at 7:00? My bus comes at 7:00!" - but the one thing we can be sure of is that Rebecca Black is somehow now leading a Black Plague of some sort.

While I must say that the Worst Song Ever people are a little harsh (Sheryl Crow's Soak Up the Sun still holds that honor in a devastating sleeperhold), it kind of amazes me how....well...ridiculous this little song is.  Really ridiculous.  Even if it is fun fun fun fun fun fun.....  (And is she really 13?  Hell, none of us did anything that was seen 26 million times when we were 13, right?)

If nothing else, I gthink we should thank Rebecca Black for taking the spotlight from disasters like tsunamis, nuclear reactors, and Charlie Sheen.  Well done, RB...I guess.  

Has she infected your brain yet?

"Zombie Burger" Restaurant Opening...in Des Moines.

Bloody Disgusting is reporting, via the Des Moines Register (Seriously never thought I'd type THAT) that a new restaurant called "Zombie Burger + Drink Lab" will be birthed in the grand metropolis of Des Moines, Iowa.  What?  You've never been to Des Moines?  Oh man, you've never lived!  (Just kidding, it sucks.)

I'm sure the idea of a zombie themed restaurant has you salivating, unless you're like me and are ENTIRELY SICK OF THE STUPID ZOMBIE FAD.  (Romero did it right, Shaun and Zombieland spoofed it well, and the Italians made it gross yet awesome.  That's it.  No one else has made zombies appealing to me, there, I said it.)

Fear not, Squeamish Steves & Susans, because the people behind said restaurant are promising a) the "quintessential" American flat burger and b) that they'll "deliver on the food side, but not so much on the visuals of zombies".  In other words, it's a restaurant called Zombie Burger...without zombies.

You really want to ruin THIS with zombies?

I don't get it.  And I'm one of the eight Iowan horror fans - which would kind of be the place's target audience.  Will I check it out to see if they prove me wrong?  Of course.  But for now, I'm skeptical.

What say you, our loyal AustenBots?  Would YOU eat at Zombie Burger?

And the Spiderman Villain is......

 Lizard?!?!?!?

Actor C. Thomas Howell may have accidentally spilled the beans when he was discussing his minor role in the film.  Here is what he had to say:

"There is not a whole lot to talk about. Sony wants us to be hush-hush right now. I play a relatively small role. I play a construction worker who's son is caught in the middle of a battle between the Lizard and Spider-Man on the Manhattan bridge. Spider-Man helps me get my son back from this perilous situation. There is some payback there at the end of the movie. Spider-man is kind of hurting. I help him when all of the other people won't. Part of the story is, the nation thinks he might be a bad guy. They don't know what to think. Because of my experience on the bridge with my kid, I know he is a good guy. I pitch in and help out at the end. That is the best way."

I am not a huge follower of Spidey, but this does sound pretty neat!!! Any thoughts from our big Spiderman fans out there?!?

Trailer Alert-Larry Crowne

This film actually looks pretty cute!  I always enjoy Tom Hanks and will definitely check this out!

Happy Birthday, Kurt Russell!

For being the baddest actor of ever, I salute you.

Katie Perry Firework- A Capella Cover

This is pretty sweet!

In Movie News-American Reunion!

So in exciting movie news, it has been announced the cast of American Pie is coming back together for American Reunion!!  So far, Jason Biggs, Sean William Scott, and Eugene Levy have signed on.  It is being reported that the studio has been talking with Thomas Ian Nicholas, Tara Reid, Chris Klein, Mena Suvari, and Jennifer Coolidge.  I absolutely loved these movies back in the day!  They were great mindless fun!  Here is to hoping they can make a great sequel!

Top Ten 80's Cartoons for Geeks

Hey OPP homies,

Franklin D. Roosevelt, one of the most influential U. S. Presidents, once said: "Art is not a treasure in the past or an importation from another land, but part of the present life of all living and creating peoples." I'm pretty sure he was talking about 80's cartoons despite his death in 1945. As a tribute to the words of FDR, I offer you this genius list of 80's cartoons in order to keep the art of the past in my present life through reflection. Oh yea, Transformers are beyond #1, so they will be excluded (This isn't up for debate). Without further adieu, here is my list.


10. C.O.P.S. I loved this cartoon. I loved the fact that it took place in 2020 and followed sci-fi police officers as they fend off evil crime syndicates in "Empire City." The outfits in this show were straight-up trippy. Great toys too!!! These toys were the only action figure/cap gun that I have ever encountered.

9. The Centurions. I flippin loved this TV cartoon. Any futuristic sci-fi cartoon with the evil dude named Doctor Terror gets an A-Plus in my book. These toys were ridiculously cool. You could interchange attachments on their body armor. How cool is that??? Answer: H-Bomb cool.

8. Dino-Riders. First, you blow my mind with dinosaurs. Then, you add in cool futuristic attachments to harness the powers of the dinosaurs. You had me at Dino. Plus, I always found small lizards riding bigger lizards interesting. These toys were some of the coolest outside of transformers of course.

7. Duck Tales. Scrooge...you penny pinchin' coin vault swimming pimp. I want your top hat, cane, rimmed only glasses and shoe/sock combo thing you had going on. Huey, Dewey, and Louie were also legendary.

6. Ghostbusters. Come on...you all know Slimer ruled. He ruled even more than Scrooge, so this cartoon titan takes my 6th spot.

Now we are getting into the big dogs of 80's cartoons. This is going to be tough!!!


5. He-Man. "I have the power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Oh Prince Adam...I have no idea what protection your leather chest piece provided but you sure could ride the crap out of that battle tiger.

4. G.I. Joe. Though Megatron is the best villain ever, I'm pretty sure Cobra Commander is the second best. Skeletor and Mumm-ra were weak compared to your blue masked snake-like whispers of pending terrorism.

3. Voltron. Screw Mighty Morphin I copied Voltron Rangers. These cats (pun intended) formed the freaking defender of the Universe. The Megazords only protected earth (in the beginning anyway before it got all weird). Voltron was made up of 5 cats that were the equivalent of University of Michigan's fab 5 (yup, a Chris Webber/Jalen Rose reference was needed here).

2. This is a tough call. I'm going to say Thunder. THUNder...THUNDER!!!!! Yup, Thundercats takes the number 2 spot. Liono, Panthro, and Mumm-ra...Eagle Scouts should sing campfire songs of your greatness. Enough said.

1. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I loved this show. I would never miss a show. If my wife would let me, I would name my kids "Splinter" and "Casey Jones." I'm pretty sure these children would solve all world problems, but only if these names are allowed to occur. Remember...Donatello does machines (That's a fact Jack).



Honorable Mention: Rocklords, MASK, Silverhawks. These shows were not only awesome in story line and creativity, but really cool toys as well.

What is your top cartoon?


Narcosleepy Out

Super Mario Brothers 3: A Game Inspired by Freud?

There are certain events in our lives that we will always remember. First, we will remember where we were when 9/11 happened. Second, we will remember the first time we all witnessed Michael Myers rampage the poor villagers of Haddonfield, Illinois. For me, I vividly remember 1990. It was the year Super Mario Brothers 3 was released. I remember the first time I hit a floating metal question mark that kicked out a floating leaf. I ate that thing and turned into a raccoon that could fly with it's tail.

I loved this game growing up. It captured every bit of my attention, imagination, and took a high level of skill to complete. Most of all, I had so much fun playing it. Each world is so vivid and imaginative. It literally feels like I am in a dream. There are two worlds in particular that hold a special place in my heart. I remember my cousins and I bringing our vintage NES on vacation and having so much fun playing the water world (world 3). How amazing was it to turn into a frog, swim with your little frog legs out, but only to get eaten by a ginormous fish? The second world that is truly unforgettable is World 4. In this world, you are microsized and trying to traverse your way through a big world. What a visceral experience. How crazy was it to turn into a flying bear that could also shapeshift into a stone statue? Well, it was crazy awesome.



I was reflecting on this game the other day and I couldn't help but apply the works of Sigmund Freud to this game. The obvious freudian references are the plentiful sexual and death instinct references that are inherent in game play. First, eating a very phallic mushroom makes you bigger, stronger, and more resilient. One could argue that, sub-consciously, Mario has a centralized fixation on his junk. Through this fixation, his ego processes sexual experience as a way to gain power. Placing a larger amount of psychic energy into this function would also elevate social status, thus prompting limited disagreement with the social gatekeeper that is the superego with the conscious level ego functions. Moreover, the ID gains immediate gratification through rewards from killing creatures, gathering money, and sexual experiences (in Mario's case, these experience are not with a partner but independent). The in play behavior would demonstrate that self-gratification will elicit and improve on the long term goal of sexual relations with the princess, thereby improving personality and further development.

Second, the presence of death is very prominent in this game. Freud called this desire "Thanos" or the death instinct. In this game, there is little consequence for death. In fact, the user will attempt risky game play with little regards to the life and death of Mario/Luigi. As such, game play is designed to trigger our desire to sub-consciously think about death, thus driving an internal pleasure mechanism within our emotional processing/cognitive structures while not reducing our libido (psychic energy). Moreover, killing creatures and destroying objects earns the user rewards that ultimately increase the likelihood of sexual gratification with the princess. A common mistake is to refer to libido as sexual energy/stamina. However, libido actually refers to ones' psychic energy in balancing the Id, Ego, and Superego.


Finally, I couldn't help but notice a special item called a "P-Wing". This item, when consumed, allows you to fly through a level getting you closer and much more rapidly to your goal of sexual gratification with the princess. Here is the obvious, this P-Wing looks like a male phallic symbol and putting a "P" on it removes all doubt. Consuming the P-Wing also gives Mario a permanent "P" that is placed on his chest throughout the level. This could be synonymous with the "Scarlet Letter" thus creating a source of internal struggle between desire (ID) and the superego (our self in relation to larger society).


Some classic video games are truly amazing for so many reasons. Freud can be applied to anything and can never be proven wrong, so take what I say with a grain of salt. However, just know that what we interact with can influence us in ways we may not understand. For me, Super Mario Brothers 3 was an experience in which I could interact with objects in a dream world. For you, well, maybe you just like two sexy Rex Manning (Empire Records reference) plumbers in green and red.

Narcosleepy out

Fallon does Sheen

Spot on!  Fallon is sooo great at doing impressions of people!  Love this!

Quotes from a Crazy

Oh Charlie Sheen....the entertainment you have provided us in the last week is absolutely epic!  Are you crazy?  Are you bi-polar?  Are you on drugs?  Are you all of the above?  We may never know, but one thing is for sure, you have provided us with some great quotes in the last week!  Here are a few of the gems from recent!

"I don't have a tuxedo that fits anymore because my chest and my biceps are too big."
– Explaining why he wasn't planning on attending the Oscars, on Pat O'Brien's Loose Cannons radio show

"I have a disease? Bull–t. I cured it … with my mind."
– Rejecting his father Martin Sheen's statement that his son suffers from alcoholism to The Alex Jones Show

"There's a new sheriff in town. And he has an army of assassins."
– Explaining why he's decided to be so outspoken

"I'm on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen."
– Professing his sobriety to 20/20's Andrea Canning

"I'm not Thomas Jefferson. He was a p–y!"
– Taking aim at the founding father

"I closed my eyes and made it so with the power of my mind, and unlearned 22 years of fiction...the fiction of AA.  It's a silly book written by a broke-down fool."
-Explaining to The Today Show how he cured himself of addiction

"I'm tired of pretending I'm not a total bitchin' rock star from Mars, and people can't figure me out; they can't process me. I don't expect them to.  You can't process me with a normal brain."
-Informing The Today Show of his desire to be his true self

The Mike's Favorite Best Picture Winners of Ever

A lot of people, like (O)PP's own H-Bomb, will tell you that Oscar day is awesome.  An equal number of movie nuts - generally the type who have no life and spend too much time on the internet, like myself - will tell you that the Oscars are generally a narrow-minded ego-fest of BS.  No one can say who's right (I am), but one thing we can all agree on is that the Oscars have honored some great movies at times.

So, since I'm pretty awesome and you like reading, I thought I'd shine a quick spotlight on thirteen of my favorite winners of the Academy's Award for Best Picture.  (HINT: Chicago's not here, because it's the worst.)

It Happened One Night (1934) - Though I still prefer non-winner The Thin Man - nothing beats a bit of Powell and Loy - I can't argue against the first film to sweep the top 5 Oscar categories.  Claudette Colbert and Clark Gable provide a classic romantic comedy gem, and their journey through the film (which actually lasts several nights) is packed with entertaining banter between the two.  The infamous hitchhiking scene is worth the price of admission alone.

Rebecca (1940) - The only Alfred Hitchcock film to win Best Picture, which is one of the greatest proofs that these awards were already meaningless fifty years ago.  Rebecca is a fascinating tale with an old mansion, murder, ghosts of the past, and Judith Anderson's iconic evil chaimbermaid.  Anderson was nominated for Best Supporting Actress for the film, as were leads Joan Fontaine and Laurence Olivier.  All lost out, though Fontaine would win the next year for Hitchcock's Suspicion.

Casablanca (1943) - This is a film that needs no introduction.  It's widely considered the greatest screenplay ever written - which it also won an Oscar for - and the slew of iconic lines that still resonate nearly 70 years later are proof that it's never lost its punch.  There are jaded folks who can claim to not like this movie, but I challenge them thoroughly.  This is Hollywood magic at its best.

All About Eve (1950) - Filled with some of the best performances ever put on screen, All About Eve is a Hollywood soap opera that pulls no punches.  George Sanders - who also co-starred in Rebecca - won Best Supporting Actor as the vile critic Addison DeWitt, and gives one of my favorite performances ever.  The film also boasted four nominations for its actresses - Bette Davis & Anne Baxter for Lead, Thelma Ritter & Celeste Holm for Supporting - though none of them won as rumors of vote splitting still run rampant today.

Marty (1955) - A sentimental favorite of mine.  Ernest Borgnine stars as the title character, a mid-30s New York City butcher who finds himself in a surprise relationship with a mid-30's school teacher (Betsy Blair) despite his romantic shortcomings.  Borgnine would also win Best Actor, beating an all-star lineup of nominees that included James Cagney, Frank Sinatra, James Dean, and Spencer Tracy.

The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957) - I haven't seen this epic in years, but I still have vivd memories of the finale.  War-time spectacle at its very best, with star Alec Guiness and director David Lean winning two more of the film's seven oscars.  Plus there're explosions, man.

The French Connection (1971) - I don't know what was wrong with the '60s either, though I probably could have interchanged Lawrence of Arabia with Kwai.  But when 1971 - notorious to many as the year when Hollywood got violent - rolled around it was William Friedkin and Gene Hackman leading the pack with wins in the director and actor categories.  The first R-rated film to win Best Picture (though X-rated Midnight Cowboy had won two years earlier).

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975) - The second film to sweep the top five categories (after It Happened One Night).  I'm not entirely wild about this film - I always seem to nitpick a little when I watch it - but I always look back on it favorably when I think about it.  The supporting cast that includes genre favorites like Christopher Lloyd, Brad Dourif and Michael Berryman (plus the always underrated Vincent Schiavelli) helps the film immensly, and the leads are worth their accolades.

Rocky (1976) - Yeah, I know.  There were a lot of amazing films this year, including runners-up Taxi Driver and Network.  But...it's friggin' Rocky, man.  The ultimate underdog.  Dude lost his friggin' title match, a Best Picture win isn't even close to fair compensation for that.  (Yes...I think beating the fictional Apollo Creed is a bigger achievement than winning an Oscar.  There, I said it.)

Ordinary People (1980) - Yeah, I know again.  The nerds want me to say The Empire Strikes Back (which wasn't even nominated) should have won, the cinephiles want me to say Raging Bull should have won, and the dark side of myself wants me to say The Elephant Man should have won.  But Ordinary People isn't bad, folks.  Timothy Hutton's performance is as good as advertised, and the film feels a lot more genuine than most Oscar dramas.  Some have written this off as an average Hollywood drama, but I beg to differ.

The Silence of the Lambs (1991) - The third and final - thus far - film to sweep the top five categories, and coincidentally I love them all.  The closest thing to a horror film to ever win Best Picture, but there's more than my bias toward the macabre that makes me fond of this one.  Ted Levine's performance as Buffalo Bill was severley under-recognized, too...probably because he keeps his talents tucked away.  (ZING!)

American Beauty (1999) - A personal favorite of mine in regard to all cinema, this is probably the film from my lifetime that I've rooted for most loudly at Oscar time.  I really believe that this film took the Oscars in a new direction and kind of re-wrote Hollywood's expectations for what an Oscar winner can be.  Nearly became the fourth to sweep the top five, but Hillary Swank had to go and mess things up for Annete Benning.  I can accept that, because Boys Don't Cry.  (DOUBLE ZING!)

No Country for Old Men (2007) - I was pretty fond of Juno and Michael Clayton at the time of these awards - still am, too - but the Coens needed to have a Best Picture winner in their filmography.  I really enjoy the film, and feel it could be more timeless than the other nominees thanks to the great acting of Tommy Lee Jones, Josh Brolin, and Oscar-Winner Javier Bardem.  Time will tell the tale for No Country for Old Men.

NOW - If The Social Network were to win tonight, I have a feeling it would join these films on my list, because I'm quite fond of that one (and of 127 Hours, too, but let's be real folks).  But, all signs point toward The King's Speech looking better on the Academy's mantle down the road, and thus I imagine that film will take home a statue for its mantle tonight.

Doesn't matter anyway, none of those films hold a candle to Carl Weathers.