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Wednesday, November 17, 2010

"Crazy Train:" A Clapping Before Christmas

Here's the deal OPP fans, we've all been at that live sports event enjoying a game. There is a time out on the court...and some Ozzy Osbourne "Crazy Train" pops on over the speakers. The crowd sits docile doing there thing which is: eating, talking, walking up and down the stairs for a food run, or sittin and staring into space. Then, like "The Night Before Christmas," my wondering eyes found this:

Twas two months before Christmas and all seemed mundane,
No one was jammin' along with that Crazy Train.
When what, to my wondering eyes should I see;
But that one lone ranger, clapping with glee.
I thought to myself oh God what shame,
Dude's lost his mind, he must be insane.
He's dancing, he's prancing, he's laughing; I'll hit him.
He's clapping and jiggling; cripes, dude, get some rhythm.
As his hands clasped in an uneven refrain,
I felt sorry for Ozzy and his crazy-like train.


That poem was to you 55 year old guy who claps out of sync. I see your gross early 90's Guess Jeans with a tucked in horizontal stripped orange and blue polo shirt, a gray hat from a trip that you took to Denver, and all white old man tennis shoes. You already stand don't need to literally stand up and stand out at a sports event. Dude, don't be that guy. Don't be that guy that has to try so hard to "be into" something when in reality you are trying to be a college student again. Don't be that guy who pretends that he is musical, "hip," and can dance, when in reality your hands can't hit a beat if that beat was tea-bagging your chin. Finally, don't be that guy to ruin Ozzy by going off the rails on a crazy train.

Narcosleepy Out

Trailer Alert! Cowboys & Aliens are Coming!

If you know The Mike, you know that Iron Man is kind of his homeboy, which makes him a big fan of actor/director Jon Favreau.  Today, we've got the unveiling of the trailer (via Yahoo Movies) for Favreau's next film: Cowboys & Aliens, a graphic novel adaptation starring Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford, and Olivia Wilde as Cowboys (and Cowgals) who of course take on aliens.  (The title kind of writes the description for us, doesn't it?)

Check out the teaser below, which hints that Craig is going to continue to be a bad man aside from Bond films, and also suggests that this might very well be the first good Harrison Ford movie since The Fugitive in '93.  The film's set to release on July 29th of 2011, which is surprisingly late in the summer for a Sci-Fi epic, but I'm not judging.  What say you, our beloved AustenBots?