Quote of the Day

"The Mini-Winni, part of American tradition, and today on the cutting edge of design and function in a Class-C motorhome. Do you believe any of that SHIT?"

-Jack Rebney

Morning Music: Nowhere Fast

I so want to go see C.H.U.D. and drink milkshakes with 1984 Diane Lane.



Artist: Fire, Inc.
Album: Streets of Fire Original Motion Picture Soundtrack

Movie of the Day: Whiteout

The Mike here, and I'm not gonna lie to you. I watched this movie because a) I love when movies are set in snowy places, and 2) Kate Beckinsale is really hot. So that's out of the way.

Though it was advertised as a horror film, Whiteout is your basic "female cop on the trail of a killer" film, which plays like a tamer version of Taking Lives (with Angelina Jolie) or Murder by Numbers (with Sandra Bullock). Those films both had some interesting twists psychologically, even if they were a little muddled, while this one just has the fact that it's set in Antarctica as a twist. It's, surprisingly to me, based off a graphic novel - and I have to imagine there was more to that story than was put into this drab movie.

Director Dominic Sena (making his first big-screen feature since Gone in 60 Seconds and Swordfish were summer hits) doesn't offer a lot if interesting visuals (except for the last few moments of the film, which feel tacked on), and the supporting cast (The Spirit's Gabriel Macht, Armored's Columbus Short, and veteran cool guy Tom Skerrit) seems wasted on the dull script. Ms. Beckinsale is adequate in the lead, and is quite cute, though she seems skinny compared to how she's appeared in more luscious roles. (Kate, you can come over to The Mike's Lair for a cheeseburger anytime.)

There's not much really wrong with the movie, there's just little that's interesting. There's a bit of amputation and the moment when Beckinsale's character has a DVD copy of the giant-spider classic THEM! in her room excited me, but that's about it. I'd say you're safe skipping this one, even if Ms. Beckinsale looks pretty good.

For the Sports Fans - Dude Perfect: Summer Camp Edition

Quote of the Day

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

-Jay Leno

(That is an excellent point!!!)

Trailer Alert! Who Killed Captain Alex?

Yes, it's Uganda's first action movie. And it has a 4-year-old narrator on crack.

Just watch.



LALALALALA ACTION!

Do you smell what Piranha 3D is cooking?

There are very few movies I am looking forward to this summer. I have been watching movie trailers hoping to get excited for something, but alas, here I am not looking forward to much. Today, I am watching TV not studying like I should be when I saw the trailer for Piranha 3. The tagline for this film jumped out at me: "There is something in the water." Listen, few movies have a tagline that I even remember. Then this happens...MIND BLOWN.

This film stars Elisabeth Shue. Ever since Adventures in Babysitting, I have been massively infatuated with her (sorry H-Bomb). Add her to the mix of a swarm of Piranha's that will liquify people, I am pretty much in love. Adam Scott also stars in the film. This cat has been on fire lately with an amazing performance as Derek in Step Brothers, along with a great role in the show "Party Down." These two together reminds me of an epic combo in our past human history, Adam and Eve. Add in a rockin cameo by Eli Roth as a wet-tshirt emcee, Richard Dreyfuss, Jerry O'Connell, and Ving Rhames, this movie could indeed rule.

Now, if you are ready for Awesomeness, press 1 on your keyboard. If you aren't ready, I would stop reading this post. If you chose the second option, I understand as awesomeness can be scary. The plot of this flick is flippin fantastic. The story takes place over spring break where there will be drunken partying and probably nudity for no reason. A tremor underneath the water of this prehistoric lakes unleashes prehistoric fish that have survived over the years. These fish are pissed, and they are 3D Piranhas. This is the kind of plot that will have people dying in various inner-tubes and boat like devices. All I have to give is a huge thumbs up to this plot. Hopefully, I am not overhyping this flick, but I am expecting big things...and you should too!





Narcosleepy out

Morning Music: Fantasy

Oddly enough, I have that same outfit. Twinsies!



Artist: Aldo Nova
Album: Aldo Nova

LOST lives on!!

For those of you crazy LOST fans that can't seem to let go, you are in luck! LOST: The Official Show Auction and Exhibit will be held on August 21st and 22nd in Santa Monica. If you bring enough bling, you could be one of the lucky ones to take home a piece of memorabilia from the show! Just think how jealous your friends would be!

Quote of the Day

I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut.

-Ellen Degeneres

In tv news...........Ricky Gervais to replace Steve Carrell on The Office?!?!??

As most of us hardcore Office fans know, next season will be the last season for Steve Carell. When I found out this news, my heart shattered. How could the show possibly go on with out our beloved Michael Scott?!?!? Well the good news is, they are toying around with the idea of bringing Ricky Gervais in to The Office when Carell leaves. As you may or may not know, Ricky played David Brent, the crazy boss in the original UK series. I personally find it to be a brilliant idea and the only plausible way the show could survive.

Executive Producer Paul Lieberstein (aka Toby) says:

"We talked about it today for a while. It's not the leading idea… [but] it's not a dead idea. I don't know how David Brent could take Michael Scott's place because it would be a little bit too much of a coincidence that a documentary crew was also following him. He was also fired for incompetence [in the U.K. Office], so we'd have to create some back story for what happened. There would be some things to deal with. On the flip side, you have someone who's incredibly talented and who has played with a level of realism that's the same as our show. It wouldn't be like we would be taking a character from Cheers, like Norm, and putting him in the show. If Dunder Mifflin needed to replace Michael Scott, they'd consider both internal and external candidates. And we will show them considering both. We'll kind of start [the replacement process] and put it in motion. I don't want Steve to go, and if he decides he wants to stay, I will be very happy with that."

And has for what Gervais had to say:

"As David Brent would say, 'Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt …' As I would say, 'Why would I get up at 6 a.m. five days a week for seven years when I can hire someone else to do that and still get my syndication money?"

With Gervais though you never know if he is being serious or not. I would love to see Carell stay, but if not bring in Gervais. He is absolutely hilarious!

Morning Music: Apeman

I think this might be my theme song on some days.



Artist: The Kinks
Album: Lola Versus Powerman and the Moneygoround, Vol. 1

Movie of the Day: Arsenic and Old Lace

Funniest movie ever made, even if I'll never convince The H-Bomb to watch it.

Also, it's the second best movie set on Halloween.

Watch it.

In movie news..............

It appears that one of greatest shows of all time still has the possibility of making it to the big screen after all!! Last night at the Television Critics Awards Mitch Hurwitz, creator of Arrested Development, had this to say:

"We're writing it; we’re halfway through…The reason I’ve been so cagey is fans have been so [eager about it]. I really want to do it…It’s not going to be a big money maker…It’s going to be fun, like a family reunion. The only stumbling block could be scheduling. Everybody wants to play together."

To see the Bluth family back together again would seriously be a dream come true! Thoughts?!?!?!?

A Tribute to Nicolas Cage

I don't care what you say, he's totally my favoritest.

Also, I will totally admit that large portions of my personality and system of morals are based off of his characters in Red Rock West and The Rock. Do good, trust Sean Connery, and don't get too attached to Lara Flynn Boyle. Done, done, and DONE.

Quote of the Day

"The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

-Joe Theismann, quarterback and sports analyst

Morning Music: Story of My Life

Social Distortion, baby!



Artist: Social Distortion
Album: Social Distortion

Could I say Social Distortion again?

Social Distortion.

Movie of the Day: The Transporter

I won't lie, I dearly love all three of these silly movies. Jason Statham can do no wrong in my book (well, War sucked pretty hard, but besides that...), and this is where his tenure as a B.A. started. I remember thinking how funny it was that the dude from Snatch (which I liked him in, just didn't see the kung fu side of him in it) was gonna be doing movies that looked like they belonged to JCVD.

One interesting fact about this movie, which has gone untalked about by most, is that (uncredited in America) director Louis Leterrier made this film, and its sequel, with the idea that the hero played by Statham is actually gay. But, when he watched his own films later, Leterrier admitted that the two movies "in fact aren't that gay".

So, we may never know the true story of transporter Frank Martin's sexuality, but it doesn't really matter. I'm more perplexed by what he planned to do with that rock in the final showdown of the film, but that question will probably go unanswered too.

Oh well, you should still watch Statham kick ass and have fun.

Que Cera, Cera (Whatever Will Be Never Existed)

Y'know science, you're really starting to make me mad. I come home from work, all content with the world, and what do you do? You open your frickin' yapper and tell me that, apparently, the triceratops never existed.

Seriously! What's your problem, science dudes? You could be fixing cancer, or creating time machines, or figuring out why dust never accumulates on remote controls. BUT NOOOOOOO! You decide that you need to go out and "prove" that the triceratops was actually a younger version of some other dinosaur whose skull changed over time. I declare shenanigans.

Isn't there something else you could be up to that doesn't ruin The Land Before Time and all 57 of its sequels for generations of kids who freakin' love dinosaurs?

Y'know what science....if you were a dinosaur, I'd classify you as the velociCRAPtor. Just try to tell me this beast ain't real......

Peace, I'm out of here.

Jane Austen's Fight Club

Via Fangirltastic, this is the kind of video this blog was made for....