Movie of the Day: The Transporter

I won't lie, I dearly love all three of these silly movies. Jason Statham can do no wrong in my book (well, War sucked pretty hard, but besides that...), and this is where his tenure as a B.A. started. I remember thinking how funny it was that the dude from Snatch (which I liked him in, just didn't see the kung fu side of him in it) was gonna be doing movies that looked like they belonged to JCVD.

One interesting fact about this movie, which has gone untalked about by most, is that (uncredited in America) director Louis Leterrier made this film, and its sequel, with the idea that the hero played by Statham is actually gay. But, when he watched his own films later, Leterrier admitted that the two movies "in fact aren't that gay".

So, we may never know the true story of transporter Frank Martin's sexuality, but it doesn't really matter. I'm more perplexed by what he planned to do with that rock in the final showdown of the film, but that question will probably go unanswered too.

Oh well, you should still watch Statham kick ass and have fun.

Que Cera, Cera (Whatever Will Be Never Existed)

Y'know science, you're really starting to make me mad. I come home from work, all content with the world, and what do you do? You open your frickin' yapper and tell me that, apparently, the triceratops never existed.

Seriously! What's your problem, science dudes? You could be fixing cancer, or creating time machines, or figuring out why dust never accumulates on remote controls. BUT NOOOOOOO! You decide that you need to go out and "prove" that the triceratops was actually a younger version of some other dinosaur whose skull changed over time. I declare shenanigans.

Isn't there something else you could be up to that doesn't ruin The Land Before Time and all 57 of its sequels for generations of kids who freakin' love dinosaurs?

Y'know what science....if you were a dinosaur, I'd classify you as the velociCRAPtor. Just try to tell me this beast ain't real......

Peace, I'm out of here.

Jane Austen's Fight Club

Via Fangirltastic, this is the kind of video this blog was made for....

Sneezing Baby Panda!!

What Would You Do?

Here's the situation (not the stupid jersey shore dude), you have a huge budget to film any movie you would like. You can choose 2 actors to star in your film. The big question is: who would you choose?

I have been racking my brain around this one, and I think I have come to a decision. The choice of my actors depends on the script I have and the overall flavor of the flick. For me, I have to go Sci-fi horror. A huge film I love is Event Horizon, and I would love to capture something along those lines. The first actor I would love to cast in this movie is Cillian Murphy. What he brings to the realm of Sci-fi horror is immeasurable. He brings a natural creepiness and a versatility that can match any scene, whether it be a comedic or suspense scene.

The second actor I would love to bring in is Richard Jenkins. He brings in general awesomeness at the current moment. I love his acting style. In the film The Visitor, Jenkins delivers a serious performance that captures a widowed college professor in both believability and essence (in terms of human nature). I think he could balance very well with Murphy while delivering and amazing performance.

So, what actors/actresses would you choose and why?


Narcosleepy Out

In movie news...........

It is being reported that Guy Ritchie has cast Daniel Day Lewis to play Sherlock Holmes' nemesis Professor Moriarty in the upcoming sequel to the Sherlock Holmes film. Daniel Day Lewis can do no wrong, and is always a fabulous choice! Thoughts??????

Quote of the Day

"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."

- Alicia Silverstone, Actress

The Guide to College for the Total Movie Geek

Living in a college town, it's easy to see that back-to-school time is right around the corner. The stores are full of cheap dishes, tupperware containers, and bath towels, the fast food restaurants are more crowded than they've been in the last three months, and the Best Buy parking lot looks like the day after Thanksgiving. One thing's very certain...a lot of these wide eyed kids don't know what they're doing.

Luckily for them, The Mike once faced their predicament. Well, at least the predicament some of them are facing. "Cool" kids, sorority girls, athletes, people who are committed to their academics....I can't relate. As for you, the movie geek who plans on using college as a chance to build upon their repertoire, the dude who knows his Hitchcock and Kubrick, the dude who's seen more foreign films than Sandra Bullock films....I've got some words of wisdom for you. You need to follow these tips to build your movie empire in your new setting. Doing so will earn you instant cred as a cinematic superviewer.

(Also, I'm sure that evil Netflix device has changed the landscape of the flick fan game a little, but if you're smart enough to be reading this you're also smart enough to know that no geek is geek enough without a bit of a collection backing them up.)

1) Bring the Thunder - Any good collection has the keystone films. Back in my day these were things like Independence Day, Pulp Fiction, The Matrix, and Tommy Boy; today we're looking at The Dark Knight, Inglourious Basterds, Children of Men, and The Hangover. The good news is that a lot of the older standouts still work...The Shawshank Redemption is still The Shawshank Redemption, for example. But if you're gonna have the kind of collection that gives you power, you're gonna have to carry some of these flicks.2) Nostalgia Sells - Y'know what movie me and the movie geeks I met at college watched the most our Freshman year? Yep, The Princess Bride. The Goonies played often, Gremlins seemed to pop up a bit, and no one doubted Ferris Bueller's powers. I can't really speak for your generation...I guess you have Home Alone and the Ninja Turtles? (Man, the '90s sucked.) Anyway, my point is that you don't need to think your childhood favorites aren't cool...they're very cool. Use them.

3) Do Your Thing - Those couple of points read like I'm telling you to conform, but that's sooooo not the case. Because, when it comes to the Thunder-bringing flicks, most everyone has them. You're gonna be living around at least 40 other people that have their own copy of The Dark Knight. Really. So, if you're not a big fan of something your peers love (like Fast & Furious movies or The Hangover), strongly support your favorite alternatives (like Transporter movies and Tropic Thunder). And if you really love something that's not as accepted, like Red Eye or Observe and Report, stick with them too. What makes YOU happy is most important.4) DON'T Underestimate The Horrors - OK, here's something you probably know: Most people don't have large amounts of horror movies hanging around. But what people forget is that every once in a while...especially when October comes around...one of those girls that lives on the floor below you is gonna be hanging out with a bunch of you dudes and suggest a "scary" movie. And when that moment comes...and you're suddenly the dude who has the horrors...and you're not totally creepy...YOU'RE ACTUALLY GOING TO HAVE THE CHANCE TO HANG OUT WITH GIRLS. Sure, nothing's gonna happen. But it's a chance that doesn't come up often. HARNESS THE OPPORTUNITY. (Besides, horror flicks rock anyway.)

5) Know Your Surroundings - Dorm life is hard. You can't always get what you want in to those places. But keep your eyes open. Your neighbors will have some flicks. There might be some rental flicks hanging out at the desk downstairs. Hey, there might even be a used CD/DVD place hanging around near campus. There will be tons of resources at your disposal, you just have to find them. (Also, film classes...the kind in which you just watch and talk about movies...are an absolute must. Take 2 or 3 of them and you're 99% done with an English minor.)

6) Give in Once in a While - One of the worst (and also best) things about college is the terror that is having a roommate. Look....you're probably going to know more about movies than your roommate(s) do. But they're probably not stupid. If they want to watch Twister again, or insist on a yearly viewing of National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation...you might benefit from going along with it, for your own sanity. Who knows, they might end up having cool cinematic obsessions, like James Bond films or the works of pre-Rocky-and-Bullwinkle Robert De Niro. It'll work out, and you'll still be able to watch your copy of Flash Gordon later.

You do own Flash Gordon...don't you?

Morning Music: Layla

Takin' it down a notch, in the hopes of a nice, calm Monday.



Artist: Eric Clapton
Album: Unplugged

What's up with Quasar?

A few days ago, I spieled a little bit about my relationship with comic books and the heroes therein, while covering the fact that Mark Ruffalo (who The H-Bomb totally loooooooovvvvveeeeessss) would play The Incredible Hulk in The Avengers. In said post, I mentioned that I grew up loving the ideas of the heroes more than the actual heroes, because I only had like 7 comics growing up. Well, I checked the pile of comics, which I still have, and found that one of those 7 books featured a fellow by the name of Quasar.

The issue in question is the 25th issue of Quasar, and also was the 7th part in a 7 part series called "Cosmos in Collision". In it, it appears that Quasar is fighting a dude named Maelstrom, but the battle is actually between Infinity and Oblivion, and these two are simply their avatars. These aren't blue, tailed, horny, James Cameron Avatars....they're just normal avatars. Anyway, they battle inside a black hole and there's talk of kinetic motion and turning things inside out and it's to the point that even the Watchers, led by Uatu, can't control what's going on. I had more faith in you, Uatu.

My understanding of Quasar, built through this issue and the joys of Wikipedia, is that Quasar has control of Quantum Bands that give him cosmic powers, and basically make him the guardian of the universe. The gems on the bands let him control cosmic forces, even giving him the ability to overpower the likes of Silver Surfer. I dunno about that, if this were my battle royale then Norrin Radd is probably coming out victorious.It should be noted that, when this comic would have to me, I'd have been about 10 years old. And considering how little I understand about Quasar after thumbing through it now, I can see why I never remembered Quasar from my childhood. Heck, there's even one part of the story in which Quasar himself, whilst listening to the debates between Infinity and Oblivion, states that he can't understand what's going on! And he's supposed to have Cosmic Awareness!

In researching what exactly Quasar is, I've found that some call this "the best cosmic epic published by Marvel". And, maybe if I'd read 7 parts and understood science, I might agree. Today, I'm more confused than anything. So here's to you Quasar....because I completely forgot that you existed in my childhood. Your scenes were cut from my memory's personal movie, because I just don't understand you and science.

One good thing....this issue did have a cameo appearance by Galactus. I LOVE MY GALACTUS. More on that in the future......

Chimps on Ice=Amazing!!!

Quote of the Day

"I never apologize.
I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am."
- Homer J. Simpson

Movie of the Day-Alice in Oz....aka Alice in Wonderland

I had the pleasure of sitting down this afternoon and viewing Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland with my awesome friend and fellow movie lover Lindsey Christensen. Like Burton’s other films this movie was definitely unique, visually stunning, and superb music. “Tim Burton movies have great soundtracks,” stated Lindsey. This loosely based sequel to the first Alice in Wonderland felt like more of a redux of The Wizard of OZ. In fact the more I think about it, the more I think Tim Burton copied this classic!!

The story follows Alice, played by Mia Wasikowska. The story starts with Alice at a party being proposed to by a dorky Lord with hundreds of onlookers watching her. Society was telling Alice she should say yes, while deep down you could see she wanted to say no. As this was all happening, Alice saw the white rabbit and ran after him, and then falls down a hole…again. And oh wow…she’s back in the magical world of Wonderland. Alice’s journey leads her to meet up with many interesting characters that questioned if she was the real Alice. These characters included Absolute (the caterpillar voiced by Alan Rickman), the Mad Hatter (played by Johnny Depp), The Red Queen (played by Helena Bonham Carter), and The White Queen (played by Anne Hathaway). I almost expected to see the Lion, the Tin Man, and the Scarecrow at times. The Red Queen and the White Queen, being sisters and one good and one bad, were essentially the Wicked Witch of the West and Glinda the Good Witch. As always, Johnny Depp was amazing. “His versatility is off the charts,” stated Christensen.

Although Lindsey and I liked the film overall, we did have some complaints. First, the thick and over-exaggerated accents were annoying. We found ourselves not understanding much of the dialogue throughout the film. Two, the violence may have been inappropriate for a younger audience. In one scene we found a mouse stabbing out an eyeball of a dog-like creature. “The speared eye reminded me of a speared olive in a martini glass,” stated Lindsey.

The end of the film finds Alice returning home, following her heart, and denies the Lord her hand in marriage. The message of the story was plain and simple-be yourself-be the real Alice and don’t conform and the underlying message was, “There’s no place like home.”

Morning Music: Complete Control

Artist: The Clash
Album: The Clash ('79 US Release, originally released as a single in '77)

If you're having trouble making out the lyrics, try this version.....

Quote of the Day

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.

- Arnold Schwarzenegger

Movie of the Day: Johnny Handsome

Not to be confused with Mr. Dangerously or Mr. Mnemonic, Johnny Handsome is a slight 1989 crime flick from one of my favorite filmmakers, Walter Hill. Mr. Hill, who was responsible for such The Mike favorites as The Warriors, 48 Hrs., and Streets of Fire in the late '70s and early '80s offers another gritty actioner here. While there's not a lot that's above average in the film's plot, it's got one heckuva cast that made it a must see for me.

Mickey Rourke stars as Johnny Handsome, who's not actually handsome. Seriously, he looks like a cross between Eric Stoltz in Mask and Ron Perlman in Beauty and the Beast. But when he's incarcerated after a job gone wrong in which he was set up a by a ruthless couple (Lance Henriksen and Ellen Barkin!), a doctor (Forest Whitaker) offers him a chance at a new life via plastic surgery. Suddenly, Johnny Cauliflower....errr, Handsome looks a lot like Mickey Rourke. Apparently, in 1989 terms, that makes him actually handsome. He gets out of jail, starts to see a mousy gal (Elizabeth McGovern), and seems to be on the up-and-up. Well, for a little bit. (Oh, and Morgan Freeman's here too as the cop who doesn't trust Johnny.)

The film offers a lot of the trademarks I love about Hill's films. There are dark city streets, gritty urban settings, and a lot of unique characters. The cast is a big asset, too, and Rourke is fine in the lead, especially when dealing with Freeman's questioning cop or Henriksen's baddie. Those two give fine performances (though something's wrong with Freeman's New Orleans accent) that help carry the film through some plot lulls.

The plot itself is a little jumbled, specifically when dealing with Johnny's motivations and morals. On one hand he's trying to get straight, on the other hand he wants revenge, and on the other hand he's planning a score with the people he wants revenge on. That's too many hands, and the short film doesn't spend much time dealing with them. Johnny is a sympathetic character to an extent, but one has to wonder at times due to the film's handling of him.

Johnny Handsome isn't the best thing Hill's done (see any of those films I mentioned above, plus The Driver, Hard Times, The Long Riders, Red Heat, and Southern Comfort first), but it's a good crime flick to throw on if you need to pass 90 minutes, thanks to the cast and Hill's style.

Morning Music: Here Comes My Baby

This song always takes me back to Rushmore.

Artist: Cat Stevens
Album: Matthew & Son

Good Morning!!!!!

Here is a an awesome video to brighten your morning!

For the sports fans-Lou Holtz Spit Fest!!!

A Tribute to She-Hulk

Hottest Comic Character of All-Time? Yup.