The (O)PP Cinematic Alphabet Draft

Hey everybody, The Mike is here to deliver some cinematic thunder on this Sunday of Justice!

A recent craze throughout the film related blogosphere is the Cinematic Alphabet, made currently popular over at Rupert Pupkin Speaks and spreading throughout the web to sites like my own From Midnight, With Love. Here at (O)PP, we find that the tastes of myself, Narcosleepy, and The H-Bomb don't always match up, so we decided to do our site's Cinematic Alphabet a little differently. As you can guess from the title, we did a fantasy sports-style draft of films per letter.

The rules were pretty simple. The draft order would be randomly determined, and the three of us would take turns picking a letter and the corresponding film we wanted on the list. Oh, and we decided (about half-way through the draft) to add in films that start with a number, so the picks were evenly divided between us. Easy enough, right? Let's see how it turned out....

With the 1st pick in the draft, The Mike determined that R is for REAR WINDOW

As we discussed this project, the example I kept using was "So like, if I had R, I'd say R is for REAR WINDOW." Since I used the example like three dozen times - and since it's my favorite movie - I figured there was no better place to start. - The Mike

With the 2nd pick in the draft, Narcosleepy decreed that T is for TRANSFORMERS: THE MOVIE

There are certain movies that pretty much change the world. For Narcosleepy, Optimus Prime is synonymous with all that is awesome. To say that the letter "T" is for Transformers is pretty much like saying a dog has four legs and barks. "R" is definitely for Rear Window, but Optimus Prime punches Deceptichops in the face.
-Narcosleepy

With the 3rd pick in the draft, The H-Bomb decided that P is for PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

To say I love this movie is an understatement. To me, Pride and Prejudice is the greatest love story of all time. The casting in this version is perfect and I never get sick of watching it.- The H-Bomb

(Note from The Mike: Gosh, from those last two picks, you'd so never guess where we got our blog name....)

With the 4th pick in the draft, The Mike said H is for HALLOWEEN

I know Narcosleepy is a big fan of Highlander, and - as much as I agree that there can be only one - I couldn't risk not getting my favorite horror movie on the list. - The Mike

First of..."H" should be for Highlander. However, Halloween is a really solid choice and I can't disagree. I mean, how can you argue with Michael Myers? -Narcosleepy

With the 5th pick in the draft, Narcosleepy announced that C is for CITY OF GOD

I flat out love this movie. The flavor, the feel, and the rhythm are so fantastic. I was going to choose "A" for American Beauty. But on this night, I took City of God above American Beauty.
-Narcosleepy

With the 6th pick in the draft, The H-Bomb proclaimed that L is for LOVE ACTUALLY

Barely slipping ahead of Pride and Prejudice, I consider this my favorite movie of all time. Romance, comedy, British, and Hugh Grant dancing make for the perfect combination for a perfect movie!
- The H-Bomb

With the 7th pick in the draft, The Mike decided that A is for ARSENIC AND OLD LACE

The three of us actually watched this flick right after completing the draft. I'm not sure Narcosleepy and The H-Bomb were ready for its brand of humor, but I drink it up like Daniel Day-Lewis on your milkshake. (Which, coincidentally, does NOT bring all the boys to the yard. Just DDL and that kid who was the killer at the beginning of TAKING LIVES.) - The Mike

With the 8th pick in the draft, Narcosleepy decided that V is for VERTIGO

There are certain movies that hold a special place in my heart. Rear Window and Vertigo are two of these films. James Stewart and Kim Novak provide a performance that defines modern cinema. This is a top 10 film...no brainer.
- Narcosleepy

With the 9th pick in the draft, The H-Bomb decided that S is for SABRINA

Knowing the other two where going to pick S soon if I did not, I dove after it. There were lots of S movies I could have picked (Spaceballs anyone!?), but I knew in my heart Sabrina was it. Hepburn and Boggart can do no wrong. Despite their big age difference, they really worked on screen. - The H-Bomb

With the 10th pick in the draft, The Mike decided that B is for THE BLUES BROTHERS

As much as it pains me to leave The 'Burbs on the wayside - and I know H-Bomb would have picked it had I let B ride a few more rounds - Jake and Elwood know the way to my heart. I'm so in on their mission from God. - The Mike

With the 11th pick in the draft, Narcosleepy decided that N is for NORTH BY NORTHWEST

How can you not love the first ever action film? The cinematography in this film is truly amazing.
-Narcosleepy

With the 12th pick in the draft, The H-Bomb decided that G is for THE GOONIES

In my opinion, this is one of the greatest films of all time. This movie was a large part of my childhood. During the summer of 1999 during a family vacation to Oregon, we included a stop in Astoria, Oregon where the movie was filmed. There is no way I was going to let this list get created without Goonies on it! -The H-Bomb

Couldn't agree more H-Bomb! It all ends when you go up Troy's Bucket! -Narcosleepy

With the 13th pick in the draft, The Mike decided that E is for THE EXORCIST

Since I had The Exorcist at #2 on my big board of horror - and since I am primarily one who writes about horror flicks - I figured I better throw it on as soon as I could. Nothing like a little pea soup in the middle of the alphabet, right? - The Mike

With the 14th pick in the draft, Narcosleepy decided that # is for 28 DAYS LATER...

First off, suck it H-Bomb. 13 Going on 30 could not be the number that was selected. I straight up love this movie. This is one of my favorite zombie movies that I have ever seen in theaters.
- Narcosleepy

With the 15th pick in the draft, The H-Bomb decided that D is for DEATH AT A FUNERAL

It is British, hilarious, and stars Matthew MacFayden (aka Mr. Darcy). Need I say more! -The H-Bomb

With the 16th pick in the draft, The Mike decided that F is for FLASH GORDON

No chance I was gonna let this list end without getting one of my favorite pieces of cheese on the list, and Flash Gordon represents everything I love about cheesy sci-fi of the '70s and '80s. (Also, he's gotta be the best quarterback the New York Jets ever had. EVER.) - The Mike

Best selection for "F" I could think of. "Flash Gordon. Quarterback. New York Jets." -Narcosleepy

With the 17th pick in the draft, Narcosleepy decided that M is for THE MATRIX

"Follow the white rabbit Neo." I remember where I was when I first saw this movie. I can remember the first time I listened to it with 5.1 Dolby Digital surround sound. This movie is one of my all time favorite sci-fi flicks. I was going to choose Mulholland Drive, but I couldn't escape the brilliant acting of Keanu Reeves. "Whoa"
-Narcosleepy

With the 18th pick in the draft, The H-Bomb decided that W is for THE WIZARD OF OZ

A movie list should never be complete without this film. Visually stunning and a marvelous soundtrack, it is a movie for all ages. It is a movie I need to see at least once a year or I go through withdrawal. -The H-Bomb

With the 19th pick in the draft, The Mike decided that Y is for YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN

If this were something like the NFL Draft, there'd be a guy with greasy hair to tell you that this is a great "value pick". I had been prepared to take M and promote MIDNIGHT RUN, but after it was off the board I couldn't resist getting one of my five favorite films this late in the proceedings. - The Mike

With the 20th pick in the draft, Narcosleepy decided that J is for THE JEWEL OF THE NILE

Romancing the Stone is simply awesome. However, I actually saw this movie first and I have a soft spot in my random liking of movies. It isn't very good, but man I love dumb movies that are just fun. Juno Schmoono...I thought that movie was forgettable. Journey to the Center of the Earth in '89 was also going through my head, but you gotta draft what you love.
- Narcosleepy

With the 21st pick in the draft, The H-Bomb decided that Q is for THE QUEEN

Another British film that definitely did not disappoint, it was fascinating to have a look inside the life of Queen Elizabeth. The acting in this film was so superb, I often found myself forgetting this was Helen Mirren, and would actually find myself believing it was Queen Elizabeth herself. - The H-Bomb

Weird...H-Bomb selecting something British. - Narcosleepy

With the 22nd pick in the draft, The Mike decided that O is for OUT OF SIGHT

The combination of Clooney, Soderbergh, Elmore Leonard, a great supporting cast, and a SHOCKINGLY good J-Lo has long held Out of Sight as one of my favorite caper flicks/romance flicks. At this point in the draft, I also kinda thought I should pick something less than 30 years old. - The Mike

With the 23rd pick in the draft, Narcosleepy decided that I is for IDIOCRACY

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! How can you hate on a movie where, in the end, you feel like a genius? Dax Shepard is awesome. I know, you all are thinking why didn't I select Indiana Jones? I think the above picture answers that question.
- Narcosleepy

With the 24th pick in the draft, The H-Bomb decided that U is for UP IN THE AIR

With a great cast, including Mr. Clooney himself, it was a witty and charming film. With so many unoriginal films these days, it was refreshing to see some originality. -The H-Bomb

With the 25th pick in the draft, The Mike decided that Z is for ZODIAC

It was a toss-up between this and using K on KISS KISS, BANG BANG for my final pick, but David Fincher's murder epic is kind of like Vertigo in how it keeps me entranced despite its slow pace. And I still get a dose of Downey. - The Mike

With the 26th pick in the draft, Narcosleepy decided that X is for XXX

"Hi, my name is Vin Diesel. I'm awesome." If you just read that quote...your mind is blown. This movie has A) Samuel Freaking L. Jackson, B) Flippin' Danny Trejo, and C) Vin Diesel as an extreme sports athlete. I consider this pick a value pick...that and I couldn't think of anything else for X.
- Narcosleepy

With the 27th pick in the draft, The H-Bomb decided that K is for THE KING'S SPEECH

So I have to admit I have not actually seen this flick yet! But it is British and stars Colin Firth. I don't even have to see it to know I like. And don't worry, I will be buying it when it hits the shelves! - The H-Bomb

So, after the dust settled and tempers faded, the final list looks like THIS:
A is for ARSENIC AND OLD LACE
B is for THE BLUES BROTHERS
C is for CITY OF GOD
D is for DEATH AT A FUNERAL
E is for THE EXORCIST
F is for FLASH GORDON
G is for THE GOONIES
H is for HALLOWEEN
I is for IDIOCRACY
J is for THE JEWEL OF THE NILE
K is for THE KING'S SPEECH
L is for LOVE ACTUALLY
M is for THE MATRIX
N is for NORTH BY NORTHWEST
O is for OUT OF SIGHT
P is for PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
Q is for THE QUEEN
R is for REAR WINDOW
S is for SABRINA
T is for TRANSFORMERS: THE MOVIE
U is for UP IN THE AIR
V is for VERTIGO
W is for THE WIZARD OF OZ
X is for XXX
Y is for YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN
Z is for ZODIAC
# is for 28 DAYS LATER...

And that's the bottom line, because the (O)PP staff said so. Consider your minds' blown...Boom!

Top Ten 80's Cartoons for Geeks

Hey OPP homies,

Franklin D. Roosevelt, one of the most influential U. S. Presidents, once said: "Art is not a treasure in the past or an importation from another land, but part of the present life of all living and creating peoples." I'm pretty sure he was talking about 80's cartoons despite his death in 1945. As a tribute to the words of FDR, I offer you this genius list of 80's cartoons in order to keep the art of the past in my present life through reflection. Oh yea, Transformers are beyond #1, so they will be excluded (This isn't up for debate). Without further adieu, here is my list.


10. C.O.P.S. I loved this cartoon. I loved the fact that it took place in 2020 and followed sci-fi police officers as they fend off evil crime syndicates in "Empire City." The outfits in this show were straight-up trippy. Great toys too!!! These toys were the only action figure/cap gun that I have ever encountered.

9. The Centurions. I flippin loved this TV cartoon. Any futuristic sci-fi cartoon with the evil dude named Doctor Terror gets an A-Plus in my book. These toys were ridiculously cool. You could interchange attachments on their body armor. How cool is that??? Answer: H-Bomb cool.

8. Dino-Riders. First, you blow my mind with dinosaurs. Then, you add in cool futuristic attachments to harness the powers of the dinosaurs. You had me at Dino. Plus, I always found small lizards riding bigger lizards interesting. These toys were some of the coolest outside of transformers of course.

7. Duck Tales. Scrooge...you penny pinchin' coin vault swimming pimp. I want your top hat, cane, rimmed only glasses and shoe/sock combo thing you had going on. Huey, Dewey, and Louie were also legendary.

6. Ghostbusters. Come on...you all know Slimer ruled. He ruled even more than Scrooge, so this cartoon titan takes my 6th spot.

Now we are getting into the big dogs of 80's cartoons. This is going to be tough!!!


5. He-Man. "I have the power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Oh Prince Adam...I have no idea what protection your leather chest piece provided but you sure could ride the crap out of that battle tiger.

4. G.I. Joe. Though Megatron is the best villain ever, I'm pretty sure Cobra Commander is the second best. Skeletor and Mumm-ra were weak compared to your blue masked snake-like whispers of pending terrorism.

3. Voltron. Screw Mighty Morphin I copied Voltron Rangers. These cats (pun intended) formed the freaking defender of the Universe. The Megazords only protected earth (in the beginning anyway before it got all weird). Voltron was made up of 5 cats that were the equivalent of University of Michigan's fab 5 (yup, a Chris Webber/Jalen Rose reference was needed here).

2. This is a tough call. I'm going to say Thunder. THUNder...THUNDER!!!!! Yup, Thundercats takes the number 2 spot. Liono, Panthro, and Mumm-ra...Eagle Scouts should sing campfire songs of your greatness. Enough said.

1. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I loved this show. I would never miss a show. If my wife would let me, I would name my kids "Splinter" and "Casey Jones." I'm pretty sure these children would solve all world problems, but only if these names are allowed to occur. Remember...Donatello does machines (That's a fact Jack).



Honorable Mention: Rocklords, MASK, Silverhawks. These shows were not only awesome in story line and creativity, but really cool toys as well.

What is your top cartoon?


Narcosleepy Out

Top Ten Reasons Why "Highlander (1986)" Is Awesome

10. 1500 a.d. flashbacks of Connor McLeod from the Clan McLeod.

9. Katanas

8. 80's punk leather bound Clancy Brown giving "the tongue" in church.

7. A spanish Sean Connery that isn't spanish at all.

6. Whirling Tornadoes of Light transmitting knowledge.

5. Christopher Lambert, enough said.

4. Head decaps in medieval stone infused homes.

3. The Kurgan's two piece sword that is practically 4 to 5 feet tall.

2. The famous rooftop "Silvercup Studios" blade fighting sequence!

1. Original Music by Queen.

End Result = Awesome. Consider your mind blown.


Narcosleepy Out

Transformers 3

So, as many of you know, I am an uber huge Transformers nerd. I have loved the series since I was a child and I have a massive collection of vintage toys (some of which I still play with today). The first movie had me excited at what could be. The second movie, well, that was just plain awful. Outside of a solid forest fighting scene, there was nothing to that movie at all. Just thinking about Transformers 2 kind of upsets me. Jetfire was not old in the glory days. He was a bad mother, shut your mouth, I'm just talkin about Jetfire. And I have no idea what was with the ghetto twins either. I can't believe they killed Jazz for those two dweebs. The other thing that made me mad was the "hot chick" at Sam's school that was a pretender transformer. LAME.

With this rant in mind, you can see why I may have a few concerns regarding the direction of the third flick. They've tried killing Optimus Prime once...you know Michael Bay is going to do it again hoping we would forget. Now that the matrix of leadership is gone, which by the way was completely worthless in the second film, I'm not sure what direction they are going to go in. The villian, which was just confirmed to be Shockwave from sources, simply makes me mad. Watching the Dark side of the moon trailer, I thought for sure they were going to rock a Alpha Trion angle (which was one of the original transformers forged by the creators). I am still hoping that what we saw in the teaser was Alpha Trion. I can tell you this, if what I saw was Shockwave, my nerd rage will be through the roof. I mean, the vintage Shockwave was purple (cuz he was so awesome) a glowing yellow eye, a frickin gun for a left-hand, and oh yea...he turned into a flippin cannon. If all we are going to see is "hot busty chicks" oogle over Sam (which is confusing) and some random transformers, I am at a lost cause for this series.
To you fellow transformers fan, get ready for a junk shot I'm thinking (assuming you have the "junk" apparatus) because this flick could suck as much as a Uwe Boll flick.



Narcosleepy out

"Crazy Train:" A Clapping Before Christmas

Here's the deal OPP fans, we've all been at that live sports event enjoying a game. There is a time out on the court...and some Ozzy Osbourne "Crazy Train" pops on over the speakers. The crowd sits docile doing there thing which is: eating, talking, walking up and down the stairs for a food run, or sittin and staring into space. Then, like "The Night Before Christmas," my wondering eyes found this:


Twas two months before Christmas and all seemed mundane,
No one was jammin' along with that Crazy Train.
When what, to my wondering eyes should I see;
But that one lone ranger, clapping with glee.
I thought to myself oh God what shame,
Dude's lost his mind, he must be insane.
He's dancing, he's prancing, he's laughing; I'll hit him.
He's clapping and jiggling; cripes, dude, get some rhythm.
As his hands clasped in an uneven refrain,
I felt sorry for Ozzy and his crazy-like train.

YOU KILLED OZZY FOR ALL, EFF YOU DUDE, GOODNIGHT!



That poem was to you 55 year old guy who claps out of sync. I see your gross early 90's Guess Jeans with a tucked in horizontal stripped orange and blue polo shirt, a gray hat from a trip that you took to Denver, and all white old man tennis shoes. You already stand out...you don't need to literally stand up and stand out at a sports event. Dude, don't be that guy. Don't be that guy that has to try so hard to "be into" something when in reality you are trying to be a college student again. Don't be that guy who pretends that he is musical, "hip," and can dance, when in reality your hands can't hit a beat if that beat was tea-bagging your chin. Finally, don't be that guy to ruin Ozzy by going off the rails on a crazy train.

Narcosleepy Out

Fun size this: Up yours Reese's

Life, my friends, is a journey for us not to understand. It is a series of random events, and we make it through each day not knowing what tomorrow will bring. However, on this planet, there is a certainty that is pissing me off. Every year, Reese's Peanut butter cups get smaller and smaller. I used to be able to count on a cup that will quench my chocolate craving. Now, my sacred cup has shrunk to the size of a testicle. They say the only certainty in life is death and taxes. Well, like an old man's boner with Erectile Dysfunction, Reese's Peanut butter cups are shrinking to a flaccid poof. Like Sodom and Gomorrah, I'm going to rain fire up in this motha.

Halloween is a time of joyous decadence and a menagerie of masquerades. However, F*$K YOU REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUPS. You place this term on your cups: "Fun Size." There is nothing fun about your size. It is a piss me off size. You take a bite, and half of it is gone. You take another bite...and you are left feeling empty, lonely, and depressed. You lick the black paper thing the cup comes in to try to get more, but this lickage is met with failure. Like a heroin addict boiling old spoons, I scrape and lick in anguish for more of your chocolate peanut buttery high. I once loved you Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, but your CD (Cuptile Dysfunction) has me searching for new candies. We had a good run.

I bid you farewell Douche Cups.




Narcosleepy

Get Him To The Greek

On a trip to the Vatican on July 22nd, 2001 former president George W. Bush said: "I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe -- I believe what I believe is right." This cryptic message of genius...this little nugget of insight into the human condition we all experience known as belief can be evidently found in the film Get Him to the Greek. Writer/director Nicholas Stollar vividly portrays a firm belief in doin' chicks, mixing narcotics, and rock and roll. George W., I would surmise by his previous "sniffage" of coke bombs, would love this movie.

Aldous Snow (played by Russell Brand) plays a down and out rock star coming off a flop of an album about an African child/futuristic African Space Jesus. His wife, model and singer performing tunes about sexual positions (played by Ross Byrne), leaves him to be with LARS from Metallica. Meanwhile, Capitol Records exec (played by Sean P. Diddy Combs) needs to make a buck and sends a peon to England (played by Jonah Hill) in order to get Aldous Snow's band to a theater to perform a live show of a very famous album at the Greek Theater. Here is what happens through the whole movie from this point: 1) Puking 2) Drug Use 3) Ladies are plowed 4) More Drug Use 5) Heroin Muling 6) A mixing of drug use and heavy petting on a furry wall 7) A threesome with a suicide attempt 8)More puking and drug use. Somewhere in there P. Diddy eats little P. Diddy floating heads. That is the movie.

When it comes to movies, I am pretty open minded friends. I can watch just about anything anytime, Outside of Gone Fishin' and Angels in the Outfield (both Danny Glover films ironically). The awkwardly forced constant drug use and weak "trip out hallucinating" scenes were heavily annoying. The film sets up this nice fun lovin peon that we all can side with. Then, he nails some random skore (a skank + a whore) in a bathroom. I lost interest at that point. Somehow, Aaron Green's (Jonah Hill) indiscretions get related back to a threesome between Aldous Snow, Aaron Green, and his girlfriend. I don't know what else to say except this movie sucks for pure failure of comedy. Unfortunately, Jason Segal (Forgetting Sarah Marshall) co-wrote this fine cinematic adventure to crap town...I mean to the "Greek." Overall, don't waste your time.

Martin Luther King, Junior once said: "Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness." If you square the darkness from destructive selfishness and multiply it by the stupidity of Sarah Palin, you get this gem of a film. Pretty sure MLK, Jr. would be pissed by this movie and that the scariest part of every town seems near or around a street named after him.



Narcosleepy Out

An Ode to The Other Guys

I remember, a younger and dumber me, naive to the way of the Ferrell.

Lost was I, lost amongst the nerds without a herald.

I remember, a Caucasian rapper, resounding psalms with good vibrations.

His bunch was funky, thank god for the Boogie Night sensations.

I saw this flick with two cops, a Brit, and a wooden gun…

I smiled, I laughed, oh man I had so much fun.

Keaton blew my brain with TLC references…

Eva Mendez blew my mind with huge bouncing convexes.

Not much plot but for this I don’t really care…

For Will Ferrell merely had to be there.

This flick was fun but don’t expect too much or you will pout…

Just know that Narcosleepy is 10 kinds of Clutch and...

Narcosleepy's Out

Do you smell what Piranha 3D is cooking?

There are very few movies I am looking forward to this summer. I have been watching movie trailers hoping to get excited for something, but alas, here I am not looking forward to much. Today, I am watching TV not studying like I should be when I saw the trailer for Piranha 3. The tagline for this film jumped out at me: "There is something in the water." Listen, few movies have a tagline that I even remember. Then this happens...MIND BLOWN.

This film stars Elisabeth Shue. Ever since Adventures in Babysitting, I have been massively infatuated with her (sorry H-Bomb). Add her to the mix of a swarm of Piranha's that will liquify people, I am pretty much in love. Adam Scott also stars in the film. This cat has been on fire lately with an amazing performance as Derek in Step Brothers, along with a great role in the show "Party Down." These two together reminds me of an epic combo in our past human history, Adam and Eve. Add in a rockin cameo by Eli Roth as a wet-tshirt emcee, Richard Dreyfuss, Jerry O'Connell, and Ving Rhames, this movie could indeed rule.

Now, if you are ready for Awesomeness, press 1 on your keyboard. If you aren't ready, I would stop reading this post. If you chose the second option, I understand as awesomeness can be scary. The plot of this flick is flippin fantastic. The story takes place over spring break where there will be drunken partying and probably nudity for no reason. A tremor underneath the water of this prehistoric lakes unleashes prehistoric fish that have survived over the years. These fish are pissed, and they are 3D Piranhas. This is the kind of plot that will have people dying in various inner-tubes and boat like devices. All I have to give is a huge thumbs up to this plot. Hopefully, I am not overhyping this flick, but I am expecting big things...and you should too!





Narcosleepy out