Book Review - Dr. Dale's Zombie Dictionary: The A-Z Guide to Staying Alive

(2010, Written by Dr. Dale Seslick)

I'm a little tired of waiting for the zombie apocalypse.  It's been more than 40 years since George Romero promised it, and all we've gotten out of it are some incredible films and books surrounded by a lot of really crummy knock-offs.  In the last decade, particularly, zombies have been all over cinema screens.  For every Shaun of the Dead or Dawn of the Dead remake, there seem to be 7 awful indie zombie flicks out there too.  They're even invading our TV sets, thanks to the upcoming The Walking Dead series on AMC.

I must admit that, under these circumstances, I'm also awfully tired of hearing about the "inevitable" zombie apocalypse.  I can't take zombies seriously right now, because there are too many of them out there, and some of them can now randomly run or jump or spit or teleport.  (That last one's on you, Lucio!)

So when the fellow behind this book - Dr. Dale's Zombie Dictionary - got in touch with me about a review, my instant mental reaction was to wonder if we really need more zombies.  I mean, if you've seen a handful of the myriad of z-films (or read any zombie literature), you probably have a pretty good understanding of them by now.  What more is there to offer?  Can a Zombie Dictionary released in 2010 really sustain itself and not become a one-note joke you've already heard?

I'm happy to say that yes, it can.  Because Dr. Dale's Zombie Dictionary is a very, very fun read.

It seems to me that Dr. Dale - if that is his real name - has a pretty good understanding of how saturated the zombie market is right now.  He arms himself with this knowledge, and parlays it into an understanding that most people that would be interested in this type of book already know the basics.  With this in mind, he focuses on things you might not have considered about the zombie apocalypse, and keeps things light.

For example, I've certainly never considered how the Utilitarian Furniture Mart known as IKEA might play in to the zombie apocalypse.  Dr. Dale has.  I've never given much consideration to how pixies or "Spiderman Zombies" might or might not come into play, but he has.  Dr. Dale covers a  lot of things that I have occasionally considered, but gave me new info on them, too. For example, whether or not I'd wear a helmet whilst fighting zombies has crossed my mind, but Dr. Dale's reasoning about helmets took my breath away.

I was mostly laughing while losing that breath, but that's the charm of the book.  It makes sense along with zombie lore (making sure to reiterate the fact that running zombies don't exist), but has a lot of fun with how to deal with the undead.  In a time when George Romero is up to SIX Dead flicks, we need to maintain a bit of comedy about the topic to keep it fresh.  He also peppers in some hilarious analogies using pop culture.  Some of it is very British humor, and I may have been a little to yankee to get all the gags entirely, particularly when he talks about London's road planning.  It's also worth noting that the book is very up to date, referencing last fall's Zombieland and plenty of recent pop culture names.

Dr. Dale's trying pretty hard to give us a lot of entertaining information here, and some of the topics in the 300+ page text do fall flat.  But the book still provides a lot of laughs, and there are plenty of truly interesting ideas inside the book too, including how Freud's idea of the Id might come into play.  Maybe it won't invade your psyche too deeply but, if nothing else, the book will come in handy to lighten the mood while you're dealing with zombies.  If you're reading this blog, you probably have a decent understanding of what you need to do when there's no more room in Hell.  But Dr. Dale has most certainly considered some things you haven't and his method of sharing them works well.  I highly recommend it.

If you want more info about the book, check out the official website here.  And, if you like, you can pick up your own copy at Amazon.

Book Review - Tales of Woe by John Reed

(The following review was originally posted by The Mike at From Midnight, With Love.  It's being reposted here because a) I'm The Mike and I say it's OK; and b) if I'm getting something sent to me to review I'm gonna at least post it on both my blogs.)

When I was contacted about doing FMWL's first book review, I had some reservations.  The book? Tales of Woe, a collection of real stories about real events.  The common theme? Suffering and sadness.  Not necessarily my thing, but I was intrigued.  I'm a horror fan who grew up with true crime stories on TV (so much so that my sister made forensics her beloved profession), and that was enough to convince me that something about this book would be entertaining to me.

From the start, I severely underestimated John Reed's collection of emotionally destructive true stories.  I was sure I could find a way to enjoy what was spelled out within the pages of the book, which appeared to me as a small hardbound edition of black pages covered in white text, with some blood red print sprinkled in for effect.  I've watched enough tales of woe take place on movie and TV screens, surely I could manage about 150 pages of sad tales and 50 pages of illustration, right?  I picked up the book figuring I could power through it over the next 2-3 hours.

I ignored the warnings on the back cover which promised "Crushing Defeats. No Happy Endings.  Abject Misery. Pointless, Endless Grief.".  Another warning stated that there would be "No lessons of temperance or moderation".  I didn't think that possible to a jaded lover of dark cinema like myself.

As I said, I severely underestimated Mr. Reed's collection.  The early stories were easy to get through - a little sad, sure - but nothing that really hit me in the gut too hard.  As I passed the 60-70 page range, I started to get a little tired of the book, but my inner tough guy figured it was just the strain of trying to read the white and read text in my poorly lit apartment.  As I passed the 100 page mark, I realized that I really did need a break.

That old saying that us horror fans love to bring out warns about staring into the abyss, and that's exactly what I felt like I was doing as I read the stories collected here.  There was animal cruelty (both by and against humans), racial injustice, freak accidents, lewd sexual behavior, and more.  Some of the stories seemed too crazy to have actually happened.  Did a baboon really eat a baby's brain and then drop it from a telephone pole?  Could a female luchador really be a serial killer of epic proportions?  I wasn't quite buying into what the book was offering, but it was gazing back at me with an unflinching resolve. 

My pace slowed considerably as I continued to travel through the tragic scenes Reed and his artists painted for me.  By page 140, I gave up.  I was resigned to finish the book the next day.  In fact, I momentarily considered giving up on the book entirely.  Of course, that ended quickly, because there's no way would I slight my readers and the fine folks who offered me the chance to review this book.  But the fact that the book was getting to me enough to make me consider giving up was a scary thought.

I went on to finish the book the next evening.  There were more times when I had to put it down and shake my head in disbelief.  A late tale about a doomed mother and child had me begging the back cover was lying - that maybe there would be just one moment of divine intervention in the book.  I was completely broken down by the tales within this little black book.

The back of the book also made a claim that its purpose was Greek Catharsis, meaning that "You watch people suffer horribly, and then feel better about your own life."  In my case, it made me immediately want to partake in things I enjoy (In the interest of full disclosure, that included watching a video of my 18 month old niece, some music by Meat Loaf, and an ice cream bar).  I enjoyed these things a little more than usual, definitely, and I also found myself thinking a bit about the people in my life who I may unintentionally distance myself from at times.  I'm not sure I was left feeling better about my own life, but I was more grateful.

If that is its goal, then Tales of Woe is a depressing and harrowing success.  I'm glad that I've had the chance to experience these tales - from the silly ones (did we need so much emphasis on the evils of Sarah Palin?) to the destructive ones (I'll never look at the cupboards under my kitchen counter the same way), because they offered me something powerful and thought-provoking.  If you think you can find your way through them, John Reed's Tales of Woe will take you on a journey of suffering.  I must warn you, however.  Tread that road carefully.

(Tales of Woe is available as of August 17th from MTV Press.  Visit the official website for more information. For another take on the book, check out a review by Geof over at Enter The Man Cave!)